“He died that day because his body had served its purpose. His soul had done what it came to do, learned what it came to learn and then it was free to leave.” – Garth Stein
The first time I read this quote it was like a lightbulb with off in my heart. We do not know what our life’s journey will be or when it will be over and our time here is so very short! While Justin’s passing left a tidewave of grief for all who loved him he now lives where there is no sickness, no pain, no sorrow. He was the lucky one that evening 3 years ago. Feeling the warmth leave Justin’s body and heart finally come to rest was one of the most heart-wrenchingly beautiful moments in my life. It was so quiet. No more couching and trying to breath, just peace.
Time passes so quickly yet stands still at the same time. Brock has grown into such an ACTIVE inquisitive little boy. Some of his personality traits are no doubt his fathers. His broad body is his fathers. His blonde hair. Facial expressions. Him being left handed comes from his fathers side. I could go on and on. This sweet boy I would be lost without. He has no idea that while some days he drives me to the brink of insanity he is my saving grace. He is the perfect gift of two people who loved each other deeply.
Justin is missed dearly to say the very least. I will never “get over” him dying. Something as traumatic and life changing as when he left is carried with me, daily. He is not forgotten but I do choose to move forward, unapologetically.
Loving someone is scary again, having them love you in return is such a gift and having them love your fatherless child, well that is just indescribable. Brock and I both are so very blessed to be loved again. The path that brought Jason into our lives was God’s timing and it is always perfect.