These milestones are so bittersweet. Sitting at the doctors office I always sit in the waiting room with my back to everyone else. I cannot look at the happy families that are there together. Especially the infant waiting area. These appointments I have always been alone at or without Justin. I hate it. Too see the other Dads interacting with their children, it breaks my heart and makes me so jealous.

It is just not fair dammit!

I sit there trying to keep myself composed and not completely go into a panic attack. My happy little guy has no idea. It makes me so sad for him that he will never have those happy moments with his wonderful, smart Daddy. I can take this mountain on by why my child? There are so many questions but no answers.

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